Pop was 61 years old - too young for dying - and lost his life to melanoma (that's skin cancer to the non-oncologist crowd). Melanoma is one of the nastiest cancers. There is no cure. Chemo doesn't touch it. Radiation wouldn't matter. There are a handful of experimental biochemo treatments available, but the success rate is about 5% and it is horrible to endure. When confronted with those options, my Dad opted for no treatment at all. Our goal was quality of life, and making the most of the time he had left. Considering that he had been given 6-12 months to live in March, 2008, it's pretty remarkable that we got nearly two years with him after the cancer metastacized. Pop would certainly have attributed that success to a commitment to doing whatever he darn well pleased, and a his favorite pain-killer, Jack Daniels.
The day after he was diagnosed, Dad quit his job and "retired." Shortly thereafter he bought himself a brand new truck and a fifth-wheel trailer. The very first accessory purchased for the trailer was a customized vinyl decal:
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And still the Bucket List went on. Jack Daniels Distillery (hallowed ground)? Check. Pop even called me that day to tell me he could die a happy man because now he'd seen heaven. Double check. Non-geographical items made the list, too. Sleeping late and fishing all day? Check. Eating all the chocolate you want without worrying about the consequences? Check with hot fudge on top. Saying exactly what you think? Che...oh, wait...he'd had been doing that all his life anyway.
And then there was the matter of a girlfriend. Someone who would always attract attention for her good looks...someone who would be a loyal traveling companion, and who wouldn't nag. Check. Meet Sugar:
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In the end, no amount of puppy love would change the fact that Pop's days were numbered. The last six months were long and hard for him, and for us. Though we didn't know it, the melanoma had metasticized to Pop's brain. When faced with the option of a risky brain surgery that may or may not have helped matters, I went back to what I knew about my Dad. He had no interest in lying in a hospital bed, and he definitely didn't want to spend a minute doing anything that wasn't worth his precious time. So we let him go. We gave him the gift of peace, and relief, and eternal rest.
And so my Pop is "on the road again" leaving me with no doubt in my mind about his love for me, and with gratitude for the blessing of a devoted dad. May light perpetual shine upon him.
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9 comments:
Wonderful and touching tribute to your dad, Nicole. Your dad sure took advantage of his gift of time! Thinking of you...
Wow, Nicole. Beautiful.
this is absolutely beautiful Nicole. thank you for sharing with us :)
You are a phenomenal writer! Earl would be proud!
Phenomenal! Earl would be proud!
Nicole,
Yes, thank you for sharing this piece of your heart with us. This is a perfect tribute to your father.
Blessings to you!
this is a beautiful post Miss N. I'm sure it must have been difficult to write but definitely a story worth sharing.
I landed on this post by clicking on the "Next Blog" - just for the heck of it and landed on your very neat blog!
What a post! Sorry abt ur loss but looks like ur dad has left back so much for you :)
Just landed on your blog by accident. Thank you sharing that story of your father. It was very beautiful.
-alex
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