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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Things I Haven't Said Since 1998...

..."my boyfriend lives in a dorm." Man, I'm regressing like crazy. Next week I'll announce the new fashion trend: Bootcut jeans!

And now for a rant that can only be appreciated by the Student Affairs Professionals in the crowd (yes, all four of you). Somewhere in my graduate school experience someone conditioned me to twitch at the utterance of the word "dorm." In the world of Student Affairs this is a dirty word - not unlike #&! and $%$@ or **!@. (See, Dad, I still don't know ANY bad words. I remain pure as the driven snow). In my world the place where a student lives is a Residence Hall. Now doesn't that feel better? It implies a "living-learning environment" - dare I say a "community of scholars" rather than just some cold, impersonal cinder-block disaster where they corral all the freshmen to keep them from driving the rest of us crazy. By the way, did you know you can't call them "freshmen" either? Now they're "first-year students." I am not even making that up for the sake of comedy - it is the truth. Welcome to my world.

I usually get on board with all this inclusive, intentional, forward-thinking language but the D-word is so dang easy. It's monosyllabic. It rolls right off the tongue. You say it, and regular people know what you're talking about. When I start jabbering on about a Residence Hall people think it's a nice name for the special padded room from which I've just escaped. As Jim has been preparing to start grad school and move into an on-campus living establishment I have been exerting a ridiculous amount of energy trying not to call it a dorm. I even tried to explain this whole dilemma to him so that he would quit calling it a dorm, too. Based on the most frequently used word in his last three posts you can see how far I got with that one. Although he did pat my head and tell me I was cute a few times...

And so, I'm throwing in the towel on this one. But only when I'm not on campus, and not with other Student Affairs types, and not within ear-shot of a respected administrator who will think me a complete heathen for using such vulgar language and will never give me a recommendation so I'll never get another job and I'll have to move into the stinking cinder-block disaster with my boyfriend!

Say it loud and say it proud: My boyfriend lives in a DORM! (Gasp! If you need me I'll be updating my resume).

2 comments:

Princess Jessie Pants said...

Hey kids! I just added your blog to my everyday favs (are you happy now CP? :) ) & I also added you to my sidebar! I'm so excited that you're going to play blog too!!!

I'm loving reading it!!

BethR said...

Hi-larious! Preach on sister friend. You're allowed to call it a "d*$&" while your boyfriend lives in one. After that, we'll return you to the PC-driven-multiculturally-sensitive-professionally-competent-community-of-scholars-language we both know and love. Until then, you've got this student affairs professional's pardon.